Can we sit and cry together, only?
Knock the door.
I'll open.
Step aside.
One breath.
You'll hesitate. Cannot look into my eyes
with all that pain.
So I don't see your pain.
I wait. One more breath.
'Come in.'
with a tired and broken voice.
Right foot moves slightly.
'Hi.'
'Come in.'
This time a bit more
welcoming.
Right foot in, left foot in.
'We're too close.'
I move back a little,
you move left.
A tired, weary 'Ah!'
slips through your lips.
You laugh.
'Are you sure?'
'Of what?'
This is a real question.
You think.
'Of me?'
I stop. Stop and look.
'I guess so.'
One more breath.
I turn around.
'Sit.'
You go and sit at the edge of the day bed. Nervous, shy, in guilt?
No.
In pain.
I look.
I see the pain.
I look at your face.
You cannot look at me
but I can.
'Tea?' 'Yea.'
Still not looking.
Why?
I go to the kitchen.
The Heft is on the table, open.
Meanwhile, me in the kitchen...
Remembering
That first tea we drank.
Slowly, a rhythm on the table starts to appear.
'Did he read the Heft?'
'So what?'
The rhythm becomes warmer.
A giggle, I cannot hide.
'You're playing...'
'I heard that.'
Still slow, but a bit more
hopeful?
'I know you heard that!'
Something falls on the ground.
'Are you crying?'
'No.'
Silence again.
One breath.
Rhythm starts again.
'Can I leave you but keep your hands?'
You laugh.
'Seems hard.'
I laugh.
We laugh.
Then...
That awkward silence again.
The tea is about to be ready.
I didn't tell you, but
I burnt my hand.
But ofcourse, you hear,
the trickling water
through my fingertips.
'Need ice?'
'No.'
Silence again.
I should bring the cups.
'Want sugar?'
'Ye... No.'
'You look tired.'
Still in the kitchen.
'A bit.'
I laugh.
You laugh.
We laugh.
Than again...
that awkward silence.
You start to whistle.
I laugh.
'What was it? Peter the Piper?'
You laugh.
Back to the rhythm.
One deep breath, in the kitchen.
I come out.
You stop.
One more breath in the hall.
'First step is always the hardest.'
'You want me to go?'
'No.'
'Can we go up?'
'Sure.'
'You first.'
'Okay.'
I wait.
You climb up,
like a squirrel on a tree branch.
I laugh.
You know why.
I come up.
You're already sitting on the wall.
Your fingers, never stop.
I brought the sugar though.
You look like you need it.
'Do you know how hard it is to feel two people's emotions at the same time?'
'Well, yes.'
We laugh.
'Sure you don't want sugar?'
'Yes... No. Yes.'
We laugh.
First sip.
'It's better with sugar.'
'Yes.'
My first sip.
'It's better with sugar.'
Breeze. Not hot. Not cold.
Lukewarm.
'Smartass.'
'What?'
'I heard that. Lukewarm.'
'Don't read my thoughts!'
'Well I can't help it when I'm near.'
'Yes, it's lukewarm.'
'Yes, it's lukewarm.'
Silence again.
'Your hair is longer.'
'You said it before.'
'Yes.'
Second sip.
Okay, my turn.
'Can I know you...
again?'
'And the first time.'
'Yes, you cannot know a person 'again'. You can only know them once.
Only first time. You're right.'
You stop talking.
'Did I say something wrong?'
'N o.'
'Yes I did. I'm sorry.'
'It's okay.'
'Thanks.'
Your third sip.
Your mustache is a bit wet.
I take my third sip.
The cups are half empty now.
The light is changing.
I'm waiting
for something real.
You know.
'What did you bring me today?'
'Me. Only myself.'
Silence.
'You are welcome.'
Then, we talk.
